She Talks In Her Sleep

No idea what any of that said lmfao but it sounded awesome. My favorite verse was definitely the first one. Very deeply written

keep it up

Excellent write...

"Tranquil darts dance within eye lids of color,
Licking blue veins which caress burning pupils,
Dream catches tear as demons ignite lullabies,
Drenching vulnerable lips within emerald venom."

^^ the first line itself is so captivating... your word choice really very impressing...

"Zig zagged star hearts bite brittle broken lines,
As shards of violet glass rest upon floor boards,
Tossing then turning entwined with cotton sheets,
Demons choke lullabies for she talks in her sleep. "

^^ wow... this is my favourite stanza... excellent words... excellent metaphors... Each line is powerful and leaves an impact..

great flow and the stucture ...

loved it..

Tranquil darts dance within eye lids of color,
Licking blue veins which caress burning pupils,
Dream catches tear as demons ignite lullabies,
Drenching vulnerable lips within emerald venom.
^^^
I love how you paint such fascinating imagery with each line in this part and it makes me eager to read the next line.

Dream catches tear as demons ignite lullabies,
^^^
Amazing line!

Tossing then turning entwined with cotton sheets,
Demons choke lullabies for she talks in her sleep.
^^^
These ending lines are gripping. And I feel the need to say them over and over again because they really do fascinate my tongue the way they flow so freely.

I really do love how your poetry isn't filled with filler words and each line is direct and impacting.

Excellent read
Luanne

Wow...
Impressive poem. The imagery within each stanza is breathtaking and endlessly outstanding. I really don't know what to say in front of such poetical beauty that you portrayed. I deeply enjoyed in each line and I could feel everything that you expressed here. Your dark poetry never fails to amaze me. The metaphors that you used are fantastic, too.
Every stanza is so vivid and the atmosphere that you created is eerie and haunting yet brilliant and truly captivating.

- Dream catches tear as demons ignite lullabies,
Drenching vulnerable lips within emerald venom.-
^^^
I just had to highlight this, it is so powerful and effective. Your detailed descriptions are flawless.

- Poisoned within desires of a painted world war,
Fighting off the fireballs intoxicating her tongue.-
^^^
These are my favorite lines of the poem. I like your choice of words here and the imagery is simply stunning.

Overall, the whole poem is creative and original, excellently written.

Keep up!

--Tranquil darts dance within eye lids of color,
Licking blue veins which caress burning pupils,
Dream catches tear as demons ignite lullabies,
Drenching vulnerable lips within emerald venom.--

^Wow! Beautiful! So captivating description and your choice of words is fantastic, whole imagery here is outstanding, I really can't say where you got idea for writing something amazing as this.

-She talks in her sleep igniting feathers alight,
Pulled on a string while tasting scarlett fruit,
Poisoned within desires of a painted world war,
Fighting off the fireballs intoxicating her tongue.-

^Brilliant write, each line, wow! I truly admire your ability to write like this, whole stanza is so compact and it kept my attention totally.
Though scarlett should be scarlet
and you used word -ignite- in first stanza too but that was maybe for purpose.

-Zig zagged star hearts bite brittle broken lines,
As shards of violet glass rest upon floor boards,
Tossing then turning entwined with cotton sheets,
Demons choke lullabies for she talks in her sleep. -

^Amazingly written! You honestly stunned me here, this is my favorite stanza, so remarkable and I really think that pictures of this lines will remain in my mind for some time.

I cannot express enough how much this piece fascinated me. I am so glad that I read it, I stared in a page couple of minutes before I found words to write this comment. This is one of pieces which belong to the poems in which I found something closest to poetic perfection.

I also think that you made so strong and deep connection between poem and it's title and ending is mind-blowing.