Love me,mum

You fell in love,everyone warned you not to
But instead of putting everyone else first you wanted to think of you
Not realising the damage it would do
Relationship no longer there with your mom
Living at home, if feels as if your existence has long gone
Why bother you ask yourself each day
You keep trying to make amends, trying not to stray
At the same time trying to keep your head up high
Thinking you hope it will pass, sitting on your own in your room questioning yourself how long will my parents hate for me last
Everyday I'm reminded of my relationship from the past
They tried to stop me seeing him, i ended up putting my hands threw glass
Now living with a criminal record for criminal damage to my house, i wish i was charged for assault for beating that b*****d that hurt me the most
Putting him first before my family
Moving heaven and earth to meet his needs, when all along everyone was right i was used and abused for his greed
What id do to hear the words "Its not your fault" to be held again in my mothers arms, and held tight
Everydays a struggle trying to win this never ending fight
Ive found someone else to put in his place, but again the feeling just isn't right, used not valued or loved, put my heart in to this, and it has been pulled out again
I just want to be loved to be someones number one
Where am i going wrong in this cat and mouse chase
Only to be left with a label because my first was a different race
Is my new partner a rebound or will we grow
All these questions and still the answer.......I don't know!

*please comment it would mean a lot*