I really enjoyed this piece.. you spoke of a very common problem in todays society.. of feeling like you dont belong, like there isnt a place for you in this huge world. The flow was quite good i thought and overall it was a good write. Short, but you didnt need to the extra lines.
5/5

"I cut corners and lines into my skin
But the pain I hold goes much further in

The first line i loved, "corners and lines" a much more orginal way of saying cuts. Nicely done

"All this hurt and emotion won't go away
So I drink, and I drink all through the day"

I liked this line too, a lot of feeling, althought the fouth line seemed a bit off, maybe "So i drink and i drink thoughout the day?"

"And I take pill, after pill, just to feel numb
I look in the mirror, see what I've become"

I would take out the 'and' altogether in this couplet as it reads fine without it. Lovely rhyming.

"But I dream of change, of being free
But I see in this world, no place for me"

Hmm.. not too keen on the repetition of 'but'. Maybe starting with "I dream of change, dream of being free" It flows onto the next line so much more easily.

Overall, i really liked this. The hidden feelings and metaphors you used were spot on.

Well done

5/5
*Gem*

Excellent =))

You have some major talent going on here =)

*Gem*