The Eternal Night!

by James Weatherbee   Apr 25, 2008


Sound waves;
bloody graves;
time drifts by;
on a cromson sky;
of blood;
bodys in the mud;
they roam the night;
instilling fright;
into the mortal heart;
that remember when it did start;
The Eternal Night;
of Vamperic Delight!

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  • 14 years ago

    by Maria

    This was well done, I enjoyed it a lot. There are two lines I don't like, though.

    "that remember when it did start;" < this line could be improved, I think it would really bring the piece together if it was fixed

    "of Vamperic Delight!" < this isn't a bad line, I just think "The Eternal Night;" would make a way better ending, especially because that is the title

    Besides that I enjoyed reading this little piece. Good job! :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Meme

    So deep and full of meaning
    really good poem
    keep it up 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Nicole

    5/5 its an amazing poem. very vivid.

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