Beyond Theory

Absolutey frickin brilliant. Abstract free verse is my writing style too. I find poetry much more interesting when it is cryptic and deep like this even at the exspence of rhyming. I love the topic too cuz I'm seriously getting sick of everyone only writing love poems. Beautiful writing and definately the best poem I've read on this site so far : ) 5/5

oh and feel free to poke around my own work a bit, I'd love to hear feedback from a brilliant poet like you<33

I love how there it is vague yet powerful. That way, it can speak to pretty much everyone in a different way. It's like a huge swarm of thoughts beautifully penned. For a non-rhyming poem, it also has a lot of flow and I think you did an excellent job with it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to enjoy your writing a lot. :] 5/5

I think it's kick ass! :D I love the vocabulary you used and the subject went nicely with the metaphor. Great job. :) Five.

An oustandingly interesting write for me, very powerful and deep. I liked your choice of words and how you portraited such great imagery through out. The flow and structure of this poem was good. Your wording created great imagery for this piece, I could really visualize it. I am not one for dark poems usually, but I felt this was very well exicuted and well thought out.

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Cryptic messages in flourescent lighting
speak soft distilled whispers of hope;
A shiny gem obscured.

^^Nice begining to the poem, this stanza really made me come out of my box and ponder what you were saying (Which I like when reading)

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Abstract gleaming from hearts
are pieces, not yet filled.
Delusional, though somehow sane.

^^I must say the last line is my favorite in this stanza, since it shows how some may think...lol

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Clocks stop as time goes on.
Fear burrowed in the soul
for pondering the unknown.

^^The first line in this stanza reminds me of the song, "As time goes by" which was in the movie Casablanca, which is one of my all time favorite movies I might add.

I love the word ponder, and to see it used in this stanza, makes me proud, It is always good to see others use words other than the main one, in this case, "think"

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Truth beyond words
linger in the almost quiet air.
Deceit is not too far on the trail.

^^First line sums it up very nicely, words can only say so much, but someone's actions can say more than their words.

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To sacrifice it all,
succumb to it all.
Emerge,
embrace,
believe,
or perish into a void of nothing.

^^This was a nice finish to the poem, but why the sudden change in stanza length? I didn't like that this stanza was longer than all the others, but it isn't too bad since it's the last stanza.

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Excellent write, keep up the great work.

Peace, Joe

First of all I would like to say that i love the message behind this poem! To me it was clear that what you were talking about!

My thoughts are that there is life after death.....wether there is heaven and hell is beyond me but I do believe that life does go on =)

"Delusional, though somehow sane.
^^
I love this! Great choice of words and does not seem forced! great work!

"Deceit is not too far on the trail."
^^
This is so true! i love how you braught this into the poem! great job!

"To sacrifice it all,
succumb to it all.
Emerge,
embrace,
believe,
or perish into a void of nothing."
^^
This is a great stanza, that finishes it off perfectly! Great choice of words and i like the style of the poem too =) great job hun =)

Over all this should get more than a 5 so in my notebook i shall write 50/5 :P hahaha

Great job hun

~ This Mask I Hold Is Not Held Tight ~