Melancholy sky

by dante   Apr 26, 2008


Beneath a melancholy sky
The slumber of my death does lie
And though I know not when it be
I ask remember these things three
My love for you shall never fail
My love for you shall never fade
My love for you shall always be strong
Till the day of my death and forever beyond

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  • 16 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    You had me with the first 4 lines but lost me with the remainder. Your flow was really good at the beginning but then it fell off and just threw off the poem for me. If you did a bit of reorganizing, this would be really good. I love the way you started off. Keep up the good work.