Eternal Love

by Wallace   Apr 26, 2008


Two hearts united, forever delighted
Doused in flame, the virtue of love
The melodies were lighted, the air ignited
Who could disclaim, twas sent from above

A picture so flawless, the stars so endless
A night of favor, arraying in sweet
Beauty so harmless, valued and priceless
Who could not savor, a fanciful treat

Wishes so splendid, duty intended
True faith redeemed, righteous and pure
A passion extended, so holy exalted
Who could have seen, a love so sure

A vision of goodness, a future of fullness
A hope to behold, ne'er falling apart
The pleasure of boldness, the joy of fairness
Who can control, a love from the heart

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    I liked reading this... especially the last line. I enjoyed it, KEEP WRITING... :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    First of all your rhymes are quite predictable, I really don't understand why you write rhyming poem if you don't have any original rhymes in your mind, I think here they were typical, for example when you started with -apart- I knew that you will rhyme it with the word -heart-.
    I also don't like the fact that you don't have full stops so it is quite hard to follow your message. And to me most lines don't have too strong connection between each other, also you started each line with capital letter which left negative impression on me, cause if you use punctuation you should know when rhythm of poem should be stronger and when to slow it down.
    Sorry if I sound harsh, this is just my personal opinion, I don't want to offend you.
    You expressed emotions on good way just little too obvious for my taste.

  • 16 years ago

    by Dawn aka Dominique

    This poem was super cute but i couldn't nessceraliy follow the message or topic you were trying to petray other than that the wording was really good! 4/5

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