Wow!!...i loved this poem!!..it was great!

"Just promise me one thing
promise me that you will
never forget me please
remember my voice my laugh my face
and remember i cared..."
^^this was a great way to start this poem!!!!i think that u shuld take of the 'please' in the third sentence, its uneccessary.and add 'that' after 'remember'.

"I'm sorry for what i said to you
I'm sorry for the things you said to me
but most of all I'm sorry that we can never
go back to being the friends that we were"
^^that was so sad!..i can really feel your pain!

"it hurt so much to love you
the way i do then look at you and
realize how much you don't care"
^^this doenst make sence to me. maybe u could say
'it hurts so much to love you
the way i do and look at you
and see that you dont care.'

"just in case tomorrow never comes
i want you to know i love you
and i never hated you.."
^^that was soo sweet! specially when you said that if tomorrow never comes. it shows that you care!

"sometimes i wish that i never met you
so that i wouldn't have to
lay awake at night
staring at my celling
thinking about how much i miss you"
^^this was very nice. like ur life has changed from what he introduced into your life. the only thing i can suggest to change here, is to take off the 'so' in the second sentence.

"every time i hear your name
it breaks my heart
and i love you more
and more each day
and i bet you love me
less and less each second"
^^oooh!..that was very nice, but i think you should leave out some stuff that is uneccessary...:::
'every time i hear your name
it breaks my heart
i love you more
and more each day
i bet you love me
less and less each day.'
^^ i think that sounds alittle bit better.

"all i really want is to lay in your arms
look up in your eyes
and hear you say I'm sorry"
^^that is sooo romantical!!

"i miss the way we'd laugh
and how we use to be"
^^aww!..*sniff*

"i wish i could just forget you
i wish i could be friends with you
but every time i hear your name
i still feel something i cant forget"
^^that is very nice!!..i dont think we can forget our ex really soon, i think it takes time!!! that was sweet.

"sometimes i wonder what would
happen if you saw all
these tears I'm crying
if maybe just maybe you'd come back
but then i realize I'm just dreaming again"
^^that was really nice!..especially what u said of dreming again, we have to face reality not fantacy.

"i don't want you to love me
i just want my friend back "
^^that was a great way to end the poem! in those 2 lines, there was so much emotion and power to it!
Awsum!!

u dont have to ue any of this, its just some suggestions.
Great Job !!
5/5
Aly