He says:So why u don leave me and find someone cute?...

by Freedom   Apr 26, 2008


Today was like yesterday,
Like wednesday or like another day
Why you are asking me to stay?
Going is the only right way.

Fighting till we get sick,
Till you hide like scared chick.
But no you still always right
Maybe from fighting you get delight?

You know babe,I found somebody new
He took away my all blues.
He loves me,thats what he really do
And guess what,babe?I love him too.

I know you cheated on me,but u said you changed
But now let me play,my vengeance is arranged.
I want him,so lets do the rotation
I really think that u have no salvation-
Relation with u was like my heart amputation.

I dont care you are right or I am wrong
I finally see,we just dont belong.
Everything went like on a sad song
So try to keep yourself strong and go on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
you say:so why u don leave me and find someone cute to cheer u up and don cheat on u?
I say: babe,I already found..

(C) Freedom, 2008.04.27

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by AnCi

    Another 5/5 poem!
    I can definitely realte to this one.. Guys suck! It's as easy as that :P hahaha
    But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? =)

    Anyway, it's a great poem!!

  • 16 years ago

    by selosita

    THAT IS WHAT HE GETS FOR CHEATING ON YOU BUT HE SHOULD LEARN HIS LESSON... HOPEFULLY AND US GURLS DONT DESERVE TO BE PLAYED BUT I LOVE THIS POEM=]

  • 16 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    No offence, but this poem needs a lot of work before it even comes close to being a excellent write. First of all use the English language correctly. Use the word You and not the letter "u"

    The puncuation and structure were both good. Your overall concept of the poem was well thought out, but with a few adjustments this could be an outstanding write.

    ``````````

    Today was like yesterday,
    Like wednesday or like another day
    Why you are asking me to stay?
    Going is the only right way.

    ^^The very first line told me how this whole poem was going to be written, "In the words of a kid" Honestly the first line made me want to turn away and stop reading. How many sophisticated people do you hear that say, "was like" ? I can tell you, not that many that I can think of off the top of my head.

    Perhaps re-wording this whole stanza would make it flow and be an more enjoyable read. So for example:

    Today felt as though it was yesterday,
    Wednesday or any another day.
    Why are you asking me to stay?
    Leaving is the only right way.

    ``````````
    The overall write was just ok for me, like I said above, the work, this could be a good write.

    Peace, Joe

  • 16 years ago

    by Cyma Khan

    Very well written.. A different style
    Keep up the good work coming.
    5/5

    Cheers :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Mike Martin

    This is right to the point...the line "I dont care you are right or I am wrong
    I finally see,we just dont belong." that says it all....good job.......xoxo

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