Comments : The man I used to be

  • 16 years ago

    by Dawn aka Dominique

    This poem is so good It seriosly made me wanna keep reading! Most poems that this same path i just stop in like the 3 stanza! Yours popped and you kepted it so real good job no negatives 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Wallace

    Very good, but I think you wandered off a bit, I think you need to focus on the main points you want to carry across and stick to it. I got the beginning and the end but the middle seems like you just put it there to fill the gap. Good try 4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Waw you got great work i love it and i know how you feel as i feel it too,my favoraite :It is the only memory I have of you,
    The only thing I can't just let go,
    I don't care if I'm lost,
    Losing you was my biggest cost...
    waw flow is nice and rhyme too well done 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Sole

    It was good. It started off and I was thinking to myself 'Another love poem...' They all seem to be so similar these days...
    However, towards the end there was the great twist of you missing yourself, I really liked it and it was an inspiring read. Thankyou.
    Sole. x

  • 16 years ago

    by Lizaveta

    What i loved about your poem was the order in which things and feelings come: depression - then "i miss u" - then "i miss the man i used to be"
    that is intriguing and makes the poem deep
    and awwwww forgot to say the way you talk about yourself in the first face and in the third, like here:
    "But I hope HE won't be lost for eternity,
    Because I miss the man I used to be..."
    ---- it is a great way to express the complete change you feel in yourself
    there were some metaphors i really loved, like
    "There's a star trying to guide me out,
    I am left with a question,
    Should I follow it or not? I have a doubt"
    i thought the rhythm was a bit off in some places, for example
    "Especially when you still live inside my h
    heart..."
    i suggest changing it into something like:
    Especially if you're still inside my heart...
    but emmmmmm that was just a thought:)
    kay i really loved your poem because it is greatly written and the message - which matters the most - is deep. i think i can relate because sometime ago i realized that i had used to be a different person untill something changed me..... so your poem is kind of a poem-that-makes-you-think:)
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by bRiNgMeToLiFe

    Really good,you had me caught until the end because I didn't know how it would end.
    Good job,keep it up=, :]
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by WrittenInTheStars

    Great job. I think a few of the lines could be reworded or moved around. Other than that it's great.