Overflowing

Emotions run high
Inside of my mind
No one understands
The pain i try to hide
Keep feelings bottled up
From years of hurt
Alone and confused
At the highest of highs
Im only pretending
At my lowest Im comfortable
With being unhappy
I cant make sense of it all
Sadness, Hurt, Abuse, and Pain
All mixed up in this melting pot of my mind
I cant keep it inside
It has to come out
Overflowing my mind
Into this cold empty world
I want it to end
Yet I know not what to do
I cant help but cry
And sit empty as a shell
I see your warm gestures
And hear words try to coax me
But i am only a shell
Of my former self
Formerly a lie
Now only the emotions
Overflowing out of me
A bottle sealed tight
Combusts under pressure
I feel you trying
Yet I keep pushing you away
I dont need to bring you into this
My strangely lone mind
I feel like i am stranded
All by myself on an abandoned island of my thoughts
I can no longer deal
It comes out when I try to contain it
Why must life be like this?
All i want is relief
From this cold distant world
Where mothers treat their children like disposable slaves
Not young impressionable minds looking for guidance
But small images of themselves
And reminders of what they no longer are
Where fathers feel no attachment to the spawn
Of their very being
Pieces of them
Split off into tiny bodies
Just looking for acceptance and love
Why cant this world be right?
I am ranting
Overflowing with these thoughts and emotions
I cant contain them
What to do?
What to do?