In Memory...

Even though this poem is about death it doesn't really display any emotions that go along with it. I didn't feel any sadness or anger etc. that you would expect to find in this type of poem. Also the repetition of "In memory of the little boy" was a little much. You should consider adding more lines in between every repition of that line, or just putting in less. I think the poem as a whole is just way too short. You need to add more to it in order for you to express more emotion.

But if you are going to stick with the pattern of "In memory of the little boy.." and then a line, you should fix either the beginning or the end. In my opinion you should either have "In memory of the little boy" and then either one line throughout the poem or two.

Another thing. Your word choice was nothing really out of the ordinary. I think that if you added more descriptive words it could really add to your poem and make it stronger.

Now I'm not saying that your poem sucks, I'm just giving you ideas to make it better. But if you like it the way it is that's fine too. It's your poem and your choice. But with a little work this poem could be amazing.

Good luck,
Bethany

Overall a good write...
I like the style...and the description you made about the boy..

but U could have made the ending more dramatic...or something different...
I cant say your poem to be unique... bt still good effort..
(hope you didnt mind)

4/5, mostly because every other line (or almost) is something that can be seen in almost every little boy. There should be something that makes him stand out from the rest, to make him sound real instead of the stereotyped kids we see everyday.

Ex:
In memory of the little boy
Who ate chili peppers by the handful

Okay, that wasn't great or anything, but you get my drift?

Heavy poem, well done xxxxx

Awe, that was so sad and very well expressed. I loved it.