Elton John

by Lindsay   Apr 28, 2008


Its getting late but,
I can still see the trees
so
I don't wanna go home till
I cant see my feet.
Oh,
As I walk, my bare feet tell me where I am
They say if it's
bumpy, rough, or -- smooth as sand,
and I wouldn't trade that, no,
for all the love in the world.
Oh,
the tree's
when they sweat, I know its hot,
and when its wet, I know because
they tell my nose so.
and I wouldn't trade that, no,
for all the money in the the world.
Oh,
as I run,
my skin feels the rain and the wind
and,
and I wouldn't trade that, no,
for all the technology
that we,
as a people all, rely upon.
Oh,
it's getting later now,
But I, I still see the sun,
So I know that though the world is quite dark,
its not quite done.

(( I was thinking about Elton John's your song when I wrote this, so please sing it in your head with the same handsome, breathy tone that he sang that song))

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Heer

    Very sweet!! :]

  • 16 years ago

    by shadowknight

    "I knew anyone brave enough to name there poem after a queer with 20 inch frame glasses that look hotpink and seem like rodeo show / drag queen equipment would be a powerful writer!!!"
    Nice Pat ^^^^^^^^^^^

    Lindsey,
    this was great and driven from a well-known inspiration which may draw more readers!
    It was great with my fav bit being

    "its getting later now,
    But I, I still see the sun,
    So I know that though the world is quite dark,
    its not quite done."

    It was really great and spaced out well to draw the reader, the suddlety and pauses helping this tactic.

    I think that u should move ur introduction to the bottom of the poem
    "(( I was thinking about Elton John's your song ..." Thing
    because it would allow the reader to run with their own imagination until the end!

    Good, great, wonderful job
    5/5

    ~Shadowknight~

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Good one for me
    i like the way to sing it in my head,
    i enjoy reading ,well done

  • 16 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    I've never heard the song that you are speaking of, but I didn't need it. I managed to create a beat as I read this, and I find that truely amazing.
    You have some spelling mistakes though that need corrected.

    "As I walk, my bare feet tell be where I am"

    it should be -me- not -be-.

    Also, I suggest adding apostrophes where they are needed. Like in the word "Its" and "cant". Proper punctuation is important.

    This was fantastic. I love how you made the title the inspiration of the poem.

    5/5
    ~Lace

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