I will come back...

by Lonely Rider   Apr 29, 2008


"Wait for me... I will come back"

Moonlit firmament,Shimmering gems
Dark shade covered milieu

Under the old oak tree,
Beside the boulders,
Alone...
Sits a frail figure,

Ninety sunsets she has viewed,
Ninety times did the moon
Mocked her solitude,

Writing letters that she never sent,
Remembering the words that he never said,

Burning a flame of hope...still...
He will come back...he will..

Far away...

In a war wrecked site,
Alone,
Under the moonlit sky,

..Lies a shivering figure..

Wounded body... bleeding arm..
Bullets probing..in every turn..

Remembering the words
That he never said..but still..
I will go back.. I will..

He did came back... yes he did..
To the echos of 21 canons..
And smile of win..
Wrapped in national flag..
Sleeping in coffin...

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Niinaa

    It was good 3/5 may i make some suggestions...?

    Writing letters that she never send,
    /\ Send Should Sent

    He did came back... yes he did..
    To the echo of 21 canons..
    And smile of win..
    Wrapped in national flag..
    Sleeping in coffin...
    /\ Nice ending but first of maybe you should change echo into echos and maybe you could change and a smile of win into and a smile of pride

    Other than that good poem

  • 16 years ago

    by Dawn aka Dominique

    This poem to me was just kinda boring to read Not my favorite if yours but it was okay! :(

  • 16 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow, excellent work, keep wirting xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by Perfectly Broken

    Wow. what a great write. the descriptions were very well done and i can picture everything in my mind! 5/5 ((:

  • 16 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    WOW! The story of this poem is magnificent. It could totally be a movie!
    Seriously, the story being told was breathtaking.

    The word choice in the beginning was fantastic, but towards the end that kind of faded away.
    A few suggestions. You need to capitalize the beginning of each sentence. That is very important. Also, the first line of the poem, the first letter of the first word NEEDS to be capitalized. That is a must.

    I give the story a 5/5

    ~Lace

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