Comments : Forked Intensity

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Short ...straight and superbly written...
    I like the style...

    great write...

    I would really like to read the expanded version of the poem... I just want to see how it would come out...You have explained so much in very few words...how it could be explained with many words... hey this a not a suggestion.. just wanted to tell you what i felt..

    I liked it...

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I love this piece, it is truly powerful and very creative. The rhythm that you created from the beginning to the end is quite interesting and unique. Very refreshing read. I had to read this twice to fully understand the message but now I got it lol Your metaphor here is great, so original. I like the ending a lot, the last stanza is my favorite one. Overall, I think that the fact that you managed to express so much within such short piece is amazing.
    5/5 from me

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    I think that this could be more effective, I think, you wrote it on a good way with interesting metaphor but rhythm would be much more impressionable if you used punctuation.
    I like the detailed description, first stanza is truly captivating and ending line is quite intense. I all in all truly like this piece but I think that it can have stronger tones. Anyway I admire your idea for this poem, truly refreshing and memorable.

  • 16 years ago

    by Ash

    A simply unique style. The starting stanza was really effective and the stanza'a that followed just increased the intensity of the entire poem. Short, straight to the point and well written! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Its realy good,specific words make it good,so deep and make me think to find te secret you hide in,i realy enjoy well done 5/5