Clouds on My Tongue

I don't want to offend you with some critics that I have for this piece, this comment is based on my personal opinion only. There are a lot of things that I like about this poem, too, but I'll start with the critics:
First Stanza: Word 'wanna' just don't sound too poetic to me. It threw me off a bit.

Second Stanza: I think that you shouldn't repeat 'these words' because you already said that in the first stanza. Maybe you can write that differently. Also, I personally dislike mentioning first names in poetry, so that left bad impression on me.

Fourth Stanza: You shouldn't capitalize 'how'. I think that it better fits the rhythm of the whole piece if it's left uncapitalized.

Eighth Stanza: Again, mentioning of the first name threw me off.

All in all, I like this piece. Except those^^^ I think that you expressed your emotions greatly and every stanza is filled with deeply touching feelings. I like the way you incorporated the title in the poem. Also, your choice of words is really nice from the beginning to the end. I like the twist of emotions in the last stanza, it's effective and captivating.

My favorite stanza is:

- I try to swallow down this cloud,
This tragic cotton mess,
Keeping back the words that burn,
It leaves me in distress.-
^^^
Lovely, flawless and excellently expressed. Love it :)

Overall, nicely done.

Aww. that's simply brilliant! good poem girl! 5/5.