I still cant help but wonder if it was all a big joke. I mean, it breaks my heart to even imagine that it was. I dont want to go into this any further. Im already spacing out with blood-soaked "ideas".
I really miss yah, babe.
...as if I havent said (written) that enough to make your ears bleed...
I just really miss you.
I miss my friend.
I miss my best friend.
...I miss having a friend at all...
I miss not having to put my phone back down when I need to talk to someone. I miss the good ol days when I could push the "SEND" key, and I didnt have to worry whether the woman on the other side was trustworthy.
I miss having someone with me. Someone I could just look at to know I wasnt alone.
I miss having someone that cared.
For those 2 short years, I knew that if I died, someone would notice.
I knew if I showed up covered in bruises and cuts, someone would ask me what happened, and shed actually listen to my response.
I knew I had someone to talk to, and I didnt have to censor my life.
I miss not having to worry about her, and not worrying 24/7.
I miss having a clean conscious-- free from the taint of guilt.
Most of all, I miss having the luxury of knowing that when I was drowning in despair, she extended her hand as I grasped it... while others just looked away.
..so...
As I give way to the unforgiving current, the memory of what was forms a single tear of glass that falls to the tide, disappearing into the forgotten.
