Liquid Grove

Hiya.

Stanza 1:
Plunging into serene aquatic clouds,
Silence; Echoing watery essence
Caresses my ears,
As my spirit dances out my fleshed being.

-- Hmmm.... imagery is exquisite, really unique... and also the way you portray the feeling of 'aquatic clouds' and how they 'caress your ears'. Very interesting and well made metaphor.

Stanza 2:
I open my eyes; Blurry vision,
Adapting; Awoken in bliss.

-- Kind of breaks the moment there for a second.... feels as if there could be something wrong 'blurry vision'. Leaves me thinking...

Stanza 3:
Tranquil Sapphire liquid grove,
Vast city of Coral Atlantis.
Astonishing untouched beauty
Of prismatic finned society.

-- The imagery and use of words in this stanza is absolutely fabulous. Even though there is no rhyming, the words just make up for it and make you feel like there is no other care in the world. It's a very descriptive feeling.. which is what I want in a poem... to feel the words.

Stanza 4:
Gasping; Pressure builds,
Surface breaks; Breathe.

-- Wow. All I can say, wow. Really is the icing on the cake. Feels as if I am in the position of a sea-creature, and then getting ready to jump from the water.. great way of portraying this.

Stanza 5:
Sun glistening over mariner's land,
Rolling clouds; Obscurities to my eyes.
Gently rocking with the waves,
As my spirit joins my fleshed being.

-- Interesting stanza. Like the imagery in this one too. And also the repetition, 'fleshed being'.

Poem Conclusion:
Was a well-constructed poem. Really enjoyed it. As Rikki said above, imagery is used alot, but you have held it well. Has rhythm, and was easy to understand -- in the water then on the surface.
This is my portray on this poem, and I personally think you did a brilliant job.

Well done.
Good luck.
5/5
- Nicole x