Just End It

by Niinaa   May 1, 2008


The screams are getting under my skin,
I just want to shout out and end all of this,
The accusations going back and forth,
Its gone on for so long, when did it even begin?

The pain is shown on my tear-stained face,
But yet my feelings remain unheard,
Among the fighting,
Forget About The Good Times, This Suffering I Can't Replace.

You tell me that I Just don't understand,
When really I do,that why it hurts me so much,
You fight about how you hate each other so much,
You talk about how I'm a mistake, A pregnancy unplanned.

So I'm telling you divorce if you please,
because no one can stand it anymore, can't you see?
Get It Over With So I can move on,
So i can finally be at ease.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This is great job hunny keep it up xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by shivali

    Adorable...........

    specially the lines...

    You Tell Me That I Just Don't Understand,
    When Really It Does,That Why It Hurts Me So Much,
    You Fight About How You Hate Eachother So Much,
    You Talk About How I'm a Mistake, A Pregnancy Unplanned.

    keep it up............

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Its hard feeling,im sorry
    but its nice poem to show your feeling and share it with us,my favoraite:The Pain Is Shown On My Tear-Stained Face,
    They Don't Care About How I Feel,
    They Care More About Fighting,
    Forget About The Good Times, This Suffering I Can't Replace.
    well done 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Vey well written...
    I could feel the anguish all over...

    "The Pain Is Shown On My Tear-Stained Face,
    They Don't Care About How I Feel,
    They Care More About Fighting,
    Forget About The Good Times, This Suffering I Can't Replace."
    ^^ the first and last lines are amazing...you could have stressed on the other lines also..but its just a suggestion :)

    the turning at the end was well written... i liked it..

    good write..

  • 16 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    The Screams Are Getting Under My Skin,
    I just want to scream out and end all of this,

    ^^ I don't like how you used scream twice in these two lines.. it's less effective that way. Maybe change one to yell or shout or something?

    The Accusations Going Back and Forth,
    Its Gone On For So long, When Did It Even Begin?

    ^^ I really like the word "Accusations" here. It's pretty original. I don't see it being used much.

    The Pain Is Shown On My Tear-Stained Face,

    ^^ This is a pretty cliche line. Maybe change pain to anguish? I like and don't like the word "tear-stained". The word "tears" is pretty common but "tear-stained" isn't so I'm kind of torn.

    They Don't Care About How I Feel,
    They Care More About Fighting,

    ^^ This just sounds like you're venting. It's not really that poetic, so If I were you I'd try to fix it up where it's a little more poetic, since this is a poem and all. LOL.

    Forget About The Good Times, This Suffering I Can't Replace.

    ^^ Good job with using suffering. I liked it.

    & Then finally i will be at ease.

    ^^ I think you should write out the word and instead of just making the symbol. Also, you need to capitalize the i.

    I thought it was a good venting poem, but if it's not a venting poem, it needs some improvment. The rhymes seemed forced. I did like those words I pointed out above though, so great job with that.

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

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