To draw upon my hands

I despise the day i spoke the words of ignorance
now i hold the disaster consequence
how i regret making our love feel used
do you have the slightest clue?
I mistaken his name everyday as you
to have a simple thought that I am
Wishing his hand was your hand
I hate to hear you question, the day ill learn my lesson
and as I'm wondering my thoughts don't message threw my mind
I told myself once, i put it all behind
and as the ticking hands are taking their time
i cover my frown and pretend its all fine
as i sit back, front row pass, to seeing you cry
to be forced to sin, of these lies in tangled in
how its play, pause, rewind for my head to stop and spin
as i draw upon my hand a realistic grin

How every time you breath, i hope your still thinking of me
Your all i wake up to crave, your all i need
No apparent sense that it's making to me
The one true love, I deceived
Please oh Please i can't forgive myself
to touch the boy and how much like a bruise it felt
Aaron I love you, I promise I still do,
I promise I still mistaken him for you
And the breath I'm wasting on him are lies
I say I don't love you, when i cover my eyes
Sit back relax and pretend the tears will dry
Front row pass to seeing me cry
How its play pause rewind for my eyes to set the trend
as i draw upon my hands an image of loving him

*this is so hard to understand and I'm sorry, Once a while back i broke up with Aaron for a past boyfriend, who broke up with me for a girl 2 years before, but now I'm back with Aaron and learned my lesson.*