HAND BY HAND!

Aw, this was sad and sweet. I liked the first three stanzas, but I felt that the ending was a bit weak. I would work on the punctuation a little, too. Overall, I thought it was... good, but not great.

~Kail

"Do you remember the days, we walked the land
we used to smile ,and walk, hand by hand
and our promises of love ,roamed that park
from the early day , till late and dark"

^^ Second line -- remove the space after "smile, and add a space after the comma. Third line -- remove the space after "love", and add a space after the comma. Fourth line -- remove the space after "day".

"the fountain in the park still testify
that your words for me where not a lie
the mountain up high, still hold your words
and tell them , to the seekers of love in the world"

^^ "The" should be capitalized. Fourth line -- remove the space after "them".

"do you remember the carving, on that oak tree
you carved inside ,the L, the O, the V, and the E
the sun still shine, where we used to kiss
this place ,in my heart, i really miss"

^^ Second line -- remove the space before the first comma. Third line -- "shine" should be "shines". Fourth line -- remove the space after "place".

"the pillow , is feeling lonely , at my place
you used to use it ,when mad ,and hit me in my face
the bed all this time is feeling so cold
the blanket ,still straight from that day , not fold"

^^ "The" should be capitalized. First line -- remove the space after "pillow", and remove the space after "lonely". Second line -- remove the space after "it", and add a space after the comma, remove the space after "mad", and add one after the comma. Fourth line -- remove the space after "blanket", add a space after the comma, and remove the space after "day".

Overall; it was an alright piece. It didn't really "wow" me, though. 4/5

-Briana

This poem is so sad but i i love it.

Such a deep poem i loved it alot.each stanza and each line was just awesome

I love it it full of deep meaning nice poem;)