Can i stop it

I know whats going to happen
its this time of yuera again
it always happens about now
i ahve no control over it
i dont know if i can stop it
stop myself going in
self destruct mode
stop myself from getting depressed
i cant understand why i would
go down that road again
ive got no reason to
nuit ive got that feeling inside
when you know whatsa coming
i dont want it to come
i dont want to feel like i did again
but i really dont know if
i can stop it
i really have no idea