Must I Be So Pathetic?

Why must I be so pathetic?
Every time I look at him,
I grow weak.
My eyes start to tear up,
And my body aches of the endless pain I create for myself.
I should cry these endless tears,
And drown myself in them,
But I cant.
I do not cry.
I can not cry,
I can not get over him,
I can not relive the moments,
I can not see him anymore,
I can not hug him.
I am stuck in this endless cycle.
A cycle that can not be broken.
Once again I can not feel alive.
Or feel love.
Once again I will feel pain,
Feel so pathetic,
So useless.
If only I could have a second chance.