Excellent work, keep going xxx

This was another great poem and the flow with the rhyming is good. the emotion came out even better. The poem had pretty good imagery and this is really a excellent poem. The only mistake is when you spelled "breathe". you spelled it breath. unless thats how you wanted it than never mind. At any rate good job.

Very lacking in punctuation and full of cliche's. Plus, you can't really write, say, or sing "causes no care". Also, it's missing a lot. Instead of having a statement and saying it bluntly, try to hone it down, get a fine edge to it. And also, develop your ideas more. Go somewhere with yourwork, don't just let words sit there and die.