A family meal

I dont want to think about it , I dont want to admit it , please someone just save me from here , I want to forget every reason for a tear.

Dont know where im going or what im supposed to do , how can I go on when I dont have someone there like you.

I told them that I hate you and your the reason for my tears , but these tears have been forever there , your just one of my fears .

Yet I can forgive you for all those times that you made me cry , but not for all the times you looked in her face and let out another lie.

I can let you go for her sake , but it kills me deep inside , your the one who made it come to this, no longer are our hearts tied.

What am I meant to do when I have no where to go, when I cant eat , sleep or even think without wanting to just completely sink .

I just spill these feelings out onto my pillow , wanting some kind of comfort , to display the act of everything you ever taught.

Ive lost everything I ever knew , every ounce of what I had , anything that ever meant anything to me , but still I cant be mad.

And I keep thinking maybe youll come down , and look into my eyes , maybe just realize that all these smiles are simply a disguise.

Nothing anymore makes sense , its all just a maze in my head , and I keep replaying the words that to me you never said.

I need this , I need you, to make everything seem okay , I need to know if you love me , why cant you just say ?

Because we are broken , lying on this bare floor , wanting something other than money , wanting for just one day to be sunny.

Because I was the best I would ever be when I was in your sight, when you loved us for us , when we were your only light.

Do I keep on waiting , or do I run once again to somewhere real , but im afraid of doing this , we will never again have a family meal.