Blood Relations

by Coldstone   May 3, 2008


I watched silently, teary eyed
As my wife and kids cried
My lifeless body rested in the spotless coffin
Nothing could be done now, I sighed

I got up,a thought crossed my mind
How much I meant to them i wanted to find
My brothers stood there smoking like they did while celebrating
Didn't they care or had they turned blind?

In a corner sat my son looking so fine
Happily, he told a group of trine
'I'll be rich the old fool died
And the million dollar business is now mine'

Beside my coffin was the woman I had always loved
Smiling, the crocodile tears away she shoved
Satisfied, she thought about my insurance money
Money transferred to the account of my beloved

If I had been sad seeing them crying
Now I was crushed my mind was wrying
Who says spirits have no emotions they can't feel
To hold back my tears so hard I was trying

People always told me 'Even blood relation betray'
'How can blood be so impure?!' I used to say
I know now, maybe Iam a slow learner
My blood was thirsty for money and I fell into prey!

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Goth marionette

    The title attracted me to read the poem and I liked the idea of the poem a lot..It's really true..
    Good job,keep it up..

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Hey this is an excellent write...

    "I watched silently, teary eyed
    As my wife and kids cried
    My lifeless body rested in the spotless coffin
    Nothing could be done now, I sighed "

    ^^ the first stanza itself held my attention..
    very well written..

    the description of brother, son and wife are amazingly done..
    and very true.. ya sometimes even blood relations betray..

    "Who says spirits have no emotions they can't feel
    To hold back my tears so hard I was trying"

    ^^ very touching... I could feel the hurt..the frustation of knowing that
    someone close had betrayed...beautifully picturized..

    "People always told me 'Even blood relation betray'
    'How can blood be so impure?!' I used to say
    I know now, maybe Iam a slow learner
    My blood was thirsty for money and I fell into prey! "

    ^^ these lines are so very true... and the last line..

    "My blood was thirsty for money and I fell into prey! "...

    is simply brilliant...

    great work...loved this work..

    one suggestion.. in the middle paragraphs you could have used better metaphors or
    better words...

    but still this is an excellent write..

  • 16 years ago

    by H E Losey

    I agree with most of the above comments as at times you seem to have forced your rhyme and disrupt the rythm. You might think of postscripting definitions for words such as "trine" and "wrying", being old I could understand but not all will and they would lose the context.

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