Bleeding on the inside

My emotions run a muck
No matter what I do
No matter how hard I try
Unwillingly tears cloud my vision and pour out my bleeding eyes
Trying so hard not to let the tears escape my eyes
Clinching them shut as tight as I can
The tears keep pouring down my face
I can not hold anything inside of me
Every event in my life has led to the broken state I'm in
Pretending the best I can and faking my happiness to comfort those I loved
It doesn't work anymore and I'm falling apart
Snapping at the seems
Weak and empty without smiles
Bleeding out every emotion I've ever had while trying to hold it in
It's slipping through my fingers as I'm slipping out of my mind
Screaming when no one is there
Staining my pillow with tears at night when my nightmares crash down on me
Plunging into unhappy thoughts that pull me down into an apathetic pool
It hurts not to feel
It hurts when I do feel
The pain get worse everyday and never seems to get any better
This melodramatic state allows me to stay fake
Fists of rage bleed from punching walls and breaking glass
Another tear, another cut
Hoping I'll wake up or just forget
Taking one last breath as I plunge off this hurt and into my life