City of Sin and Lost Hope

by BrokenREALiTy   May 4, 2008


Haunted silhouettes loom throughout the streets,
Trailing behind what seems like elapsed memories.
(Ghostly structures consume her vulgar cries)
In desperate attempts to embrace forgotten dreams.

She spends her nights reliving fractured instances,
(Recollections that stalk away at bloody avenues)

Shattered lyrics swim within her careless mind,
As discarded sins surround her frantic whines.
Lasting promises snatch at the fading images,
(A crimson hand reaches for watered lies)

Tarnished petals disperse throughout the virgin sea,
Defiling the innocent cries of a former love.
Her muffled screams choke the frail stems of flora,
Drowning in the salty tears of a forsaken soul.

And with the wanton smile that she has stitched upon her face,
She welcomes the fiend that's come to wrap her soul in tainted lace.
©20080503 Mindy Huang

*Edited. Added in the fourth stanza.
**Weak ending, I know! I just found this while rummaging through old documents, and I just decided to post it here. (It was supposed to be for an old contest, but I never got around to finishing it...)

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    I actually enjoyed this poem
    yeah the ending was a little weak
    but nothing really bad
    I loved how it started off
    it was erie and it was filled with imagery
    imagery to me is key with writing
    and you always seem to pull it off
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by WrittenInTheStars

    Like I mentioned before, your writing style is very unique, but it works. Like you said, the ending is a bit weak and you should try to polish that up, and as Mesroth said it was also premature. This poem could be so much better if you would add a few more stanzas to it. But I must admit that I love your word choice and how you piece this poem together. Nice work. 5/5