Learning to Live

Here I am, standing, praying and bowing
To the mercies of the bereft and hollow
Long ago abandoning those who still dwell
In the shadows of Eden that shelter my hell

It's a strange world I find myself alive in
Even as each day leads me on towards death

I, who was proud and worthy,
This falsehood unbecoming of me
A man of impressive descent
Of royal bloodlines, long deceased.
All forgotten
But I was great

The steel clung my side but hissed through hot air
A cold kiss to the lips of the dead
Their footsteps pad into soft mud, lasting beyond their makers
And I stood watching their creators, and fading.

They used to tell such stories, to which I longed to find myself within
But my own venture to the void took a turn
I fought and I sought my opponents so I might find myself a hero
But the brave men are born
Only brave men know they are living

I find my life lacking its lustre
That I found in fairytales of childhood splendour
Yearning for a life stranger than fiction
All ideals never to be revived

A life stranger, bolder, dangerous to behold
To be hidden, and coveted in an aged, dark heart
So soon, so soon and yet too old to wonder
The wonderful emptiness that rests in my heart

They crowd and they cluster in their attempts to claim
Their stake on my heart, my life and my name
In my dreams they keep coming, and I keep escaping
That fearsome unknown, the horrific unknown

Every man has his vices that he hides from the world
But secretly surrenders to, oh what we surrender to

Stand up; be merry
This is your revolution
This is what I always wanted to believe in
But the concept keeps evading me