Just me and my Memories

JUST ME AND MY MEMORIES
Bad memories cloud my head,
Take out the light,
And fill it with darkness instead.

Memories of the past
And of relationships that would never last
Affect me still today.

I remember things about my brother.
Nothing good however.
My memories of him
Are simply that
Of a scared child, cowering
Behind their mother's back.
I hated every time he'd come to visit,
And I wished that he would just stop coming.
That was a foolish wish of mine,
Because now I wonder how I could be so blind
As not to see that he was a large part of me.
We shared blood, as well as a dad,
But I did not know that at the time,
And simply saw the surface layer,
Of my troubled brother
Who then I feared.

Another memory of mine,
Starts pulsing in my head.
A memory of one time
When many tears I shed.
A "great" guy had come into my life.
Or so I had believed,
We told each other everything,
In him I found a friend.
We passed notes during class,
Some deep, some fun
Some were just because.
Then one day I found myself
Looking at him in a different way.
And much to my dismay,
I begin to fall for him.
He found out, and acted very mean,
He lied and lied
Until there was nothing left to fake,
Then he turned his back on me.
This was the guy who I had confided in,
The guy I thought to be my friend.
I cried and cried, until
Water stains sodden my sheets,
And even though my eyes were dry,
My heart was broke to pieces.

Still more and more memories
Rush through me like a waterfall.

Brief glances of my painful past
When I thought my life just couldn't last
But I managed to get through.

And now I find myself,
In the hardest place of all.
I do not know if I'll make it through this time,
I think I probably will fall.

These feelings I have felt before,
But never been this strong.
Hate, love, betrayal, denial,
Are all a part of me.
Anger, depression, temptation, grief
I am drowning in a sea.

I am surrounded by my darkness,
and haunted by my memories.
I doubt that I will be okay,
For the experiences I have seen,
Happen much too often.

So please just leave me,
Just let me go.
I am already left alone,
with nothing but me and my memories.