Your eyes of soft stormy blue stare at mine,
and as hard as I try,
I can't quite look through you.
With all my heart I want to,
and with all my might I try,
but something just won't stop me,
from crying out inside.
This is fruitless, trying to stay away,
trying to ignore the cause, of all this wretched pain.
I need to speak my mind,
to put my heart at ease,
but knowing what that would do,
taints the spring sweet breeze.
I cannot come between those,
who have done so much for me.
Who have listened to my woes,
and who with me have grieved.
I stand and wait and know,
that no matter however long I stay,
that emotion will never show
and neither will my pain.
I may cry, it may kill me, I may sit there all ashamed,
it may take away my happiness, but you will remain the same.
You will never know what you have done,
so unwillingly,
I swear not to put you through,
what you have done to me.
They say that sacrifice of love,
is the hardest one to make,
but doing this for you,
was no simple mistake.
I will be there for you forever,
whenever you need a friend.
I will smile and be glad for you,
long after the end.
I swear that you will never know,
about the nights I cried,
the tears that put me to sleep,
that became my lullaby.
I swear you will never know how I aided and became,
a better person for my loss, at the expense of your gain.
I swear you will never know how selfish that I was,
when I decided that none was not enough.
I apologize sincerely and hope that you forgive,
me for all that I have done,
me for who I am.
If I could take and bury,
these thoughts and hopes of mine.
No ocean deep or valley wide,
could conceal that big a crime.
Take what you have learned here,
and be careful now my friend.
For when you smile in kindness,
my pain begins again.
I swear that you will never know,
about the nights I'll cry,
the tears to come that bring me sleep,
my loveless lullaby.
