Comments : A suicide ticket to heaven

  • 16 years ago

    by Spoken Silence

    Good poem, personally I dont believe in God but if I did this poem would mean a lot.

    "Yet no one bothers to help
    Instead, they put her down
    She cried till she leaked a bloody tear
    Still, there was no saviour around"

    I like this part, she cried so much for far to long that blood came out, not tears. This is the most emotional part of the poem. No one is there to help her, she is finally on the edge.

    "God, please free her from this agony
    Take it away and bring her happiness
    God, you're her only oppurtunity
    Please save her from this loneliness"

    Asking God to die, haha, classic! original! unique! Don't see this normally, its normally like people say that they want to die. They don't ask God for help.

    "Her world remained colder than before
    She was still waiting for God's reply
    She couldn't take the pain anymore
    And decided to bid goodbye"

    Finally loosing hope, the close to climatic part of the poem, good stanza and rhyme scheme for this.

    "God, she should have awaited your reply
    But she couldn't live with a broken heart
    For there's no solution; only to die
    To keep herself from being ripped apart "

    An amazing ending to an amazing poem. Great write I enjoyed reading this. You should check out and comment some of mine.

  • 16 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Excellent power, good job x

  • 16 years ago

    by Tori

    Nice
    I liked it...
    -Tori♥

  • 16 years ago

    by isabel

    It's a very sad poem but a wonderfully written one...

    must agree with spoken silence... asking god to die is quite an original thought...

    I surely understand the feeling... Sometimes living is just not worth the pain...

    The poem has a wonderful flow and a very good rhyme scheme... I find it absolutely great :)

    5/5
    *isabel*