Comments : Hand of Sorrow

  • 16 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    Thank you, for making this decision to pick the winners even harder for me!!! =)
    ^^That means I really loved this.

    "-Inhale gentle voices of fallen stars
    when the sun burns us down,
    we'll travel far..."

    ^^By far the most amazing part. The way the words flowed was truely magnificent.

    In the third stanza, I do not understand the "...well". Is that some sort of sigh, with a continuation/explanation in the fourth stanza? Not sure.

    "Cryptic universe melts over inner hues."
    and
    "Cryptic universe melts over inner lakes."

    ^^I was hoping that they would be the same exact lines. I think the repetition of it would sound better. But that is just in my opinion.

    I loved in the last line, how you incorporated "angels" and "devil" because if you have heard the original song, that is something that is sort of in it.
    Anyways, this was a fantastic contest entry.
    Can't wait to see your other one.
    Good luck, and thank you for entering the contest!
    5/5
    ~Lace

  • 16 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I liked this, well done think you done a good job and used very good emotion xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    Amazing. Truly blew me away. Wow.

    As you can see I reallly liked this piece. The words used were as always out of this world and refreshing to read. The emotions expressed here were impressive and your truly took me into another universe with his poem. The flow was flawless as always and I am really running out of words to describe your work.

    Amazing. That is all I could think of.
    Well done *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by Prasad Baadkar

    Each poem of ur's has it's own touch n class...

    marvellous talent...

    keep up d good work..

    best wishz..

    karan

  • 16 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    It was the structure of this poem that blew me away. The whole layout was the best i have seen so far. Although to be fair some of the language was a little out of my depth =P.

    But that does not mean this poem was bad in anyway. The vocab you used was jargon and really was well thought out.

    Again the flow was flawless as was the meaning of the words you chose.

    Although this poem was pretty abract again there were some real strong clashes of metaphors making the poem fierce and tempting.

    'Inhale gentle voices of fallen stars
    when the sun burns us down', Was my favourite. Really in depth and strong, bold. Showing a binary oppostion in your work shows the quality of how well you write your poems. Exellent job keep up the good work

    Alex xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    Cosmos's
    `I don't think you need the other s. Words like that normally just have a ' and that's all it needs.

    -Inhale gentle voices of fallen stars
    when the sun burns us down,
    we'll travel far...
    `Definitely my favourite stanza. It stuck out instantly -- though it contained the simplest words in this piece, it's potent. I take it in as ... "inhale" being finally taking in and acceping the voices from before -- the fallen stars being betrayals or anything along those lines. Loved ones, family, friends that are no longer in your life -- and the sun ... It hasn't fallen -- it's not gone yet, but there's a prediction of it shattering you sooner or later, but no matter what -- you (and the person since it's "we") will continue on despite the strife.

    I also like the repitition of "falling apart, falling apart..." -- the second "falling apart" in my head comes as a powerful whisper ... Amazing.

    So overall, I've come to the conclusion that you are one cor writer. This piece, like many others that I've read by you, is about as unique as it gets. Your diction and your metaphors and analogies are breathtaking. You never cease to blow me away, and this piece, did just that.

    ..__MiNDYY

  • 16 years ago

    by Beautifully Disfigured

    I am going to be honest with you
    i have no idea what this poem is about.
    my brain got lost with all the big words. but thats not necessarily (sp?) a bad thing. you used a lot of descriptive wordsand thats what makes your poems absolutely great. so i cant rea;;y say much about this one since i got lost