Comments : The Drugs Don't Work

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    First line truly touched me deeply, it sounds straight from the heart and it is effective.

    -Burn such flammable eyes a little more,
    Gasoline cans spark self destruction,
    Thrashing away in powdered graveyards,
    Tranced within colors you never knew.-

    ^Truly interesting start, you expressed a lot of emotions and left touch of sorrow in each line, truly creative choice of words.

    -Aching hearts still reside within snow,
    Stop freezing yourself within fake ice,
    Let salty tears travel to bitter lips,
    Don't be afraid to let go of old habits.-

    ^I like your descriptions, truly vivid and refreshing, I like the personal tone which you created.

    -Deny feared trapment to bounded webs,
    You'll fall and stumble yet never win,
    I've always whispered to deafened ears,
    Though who am I to judge a fools life. -

    ^Truly excellent write, I see a lot of feelings between lines, on me you left impression of some unspoken emotions which you felt.

    -Bruises will heal upon tiresome skin,
    Yet memory's never fade into the flesh,
    Jealousy can haunt the world to pieces,
    Only your pained heart knows this best. -

    ^Somehow you managed to change a lot rhythm of poem but it is still compact, greatly said, I love your ability to show a lot of details and you did that greatly in this stanza, very powerful.

    -Trust in me when I hush I'll help you,
    Crawling comes first, then you walk.
    Take the last steps of becoming a man,
    Returning to innocence of who you are. -

    ^To be honest you impressed me with this ending, very unique and deep. You put some little more complex atmosphere through the poem and than finished it with simple thought which summed all up and that was truly intense.

    Bravo for writing this poem, you should be proud on your self, you also made great connection with title without using in in the poem which is always effective.

    I enjoyed a lot in this poem, overall brilliant write, each stanza posses such strong emotions.

  • 16 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Excellent work, the language in this poem is brilliant and makes it very skilled poem.

    well done keep it up xx

  • 16 years ago

    by disturbed one

    Wow, the depth of the words you put into your poems is so intense that i can harly understand them.

    very brilliantly done :)