I agree, it has a good quick flow but i think it will be better if you break it up maybe and make it long and choppy? that would work best for me reading it, just my opinion but it would work really well it hink.

great powerful write keep it up xx

That was original...the idea was kinda different and new...And I followed the rule:p and read it quickly..I did love it so much..keep it up:)5/5..

Well written... it seems a collection of random thoughts ... well composed..
and ya it sounds good wen you read it fast...

keep writing..