Mechanical Metropolis

by Indian Comma Bean   May 8, 2008


Sitting here with the same pen,
Writing words I've seen to many times.
Sitting back observing the same
old day with a different name.

White Tee from the hamper,
Couple of wrinkles but it'll do.
Comb the hair, 45 degrees to the right,
Couple of strays but you won't notice, will you?

The world we live in is a mechanical metropolis,
Systematically we walk to the machine.
Scan our eyes so we're not late,
Adjust the tie for the cameras.

No emotion, no commotion.
No thoughts, no strikes.
No ideas, no rebellions.
No life? No problem...

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I love this from the beginning to the end. The message is excellently conveyed and truly meaningful. I agree with this poem.
    The atmosphere within whole piece is very vivid and effective. Also, your creativity shines through every stanza of this poem.

    - Sitting here with the same pen,
    Writing words I've seen to many times.
    Sitting back observing the same
    old day with a different name.-
    ^^^
    excellent beginning, it pulled me straight into this piece. Amazing stanza with so powerful message. I can deeply relate to this feeling.

    - The world we live in a mechanical metropolis,
    Systematically we walk to the machine.
    Scan our eyes so we're not late,
    Adjust the tie for the cameras.-
    ^^^
    My favorite stanza. I like your descriptions, they made the poem more effective. The choice of words here is fantastic. Details in this stanza are remarkable.

    The ending is also great, it summed up this poem excellently.

    Keep writing!

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