Path I chose

A slight ringing in my ears
as I lay down on my bed
staring at my ceiling
wishing I was dead

inside, I'm screaming
because I know I cannot cry
there's no point in it anyway
or am I just in too much pain to try?

why did I have to be so foolish?
I used to be so strong..
then came a choice between to paths
the one I chose was wrong

I didn't WANT to hurt myself
I just wanted-for once-to feel
only to late did I realize
the pain inside me was real!

but sadly, my choice was made
I made a promise I meant to keep
I held the blade to my heart
and layed down for eternal sleep..