As i hold my crying sister

You write so sad babe!! its not your fault xxxx

keep writing your touchign words and it will all be better and brighter one day xx

I love this poem. It's very honest and open to this subject.

"As she cries herself to sleep,
And it kills me to know that I'm the one to blaim.
Her tears are filled with grief"

I like this, your admitting the fact that it is your fault. In most poems I've read they don't say it this early in the poem like you did. This is just different and its good that you change that.

"All I can do is whisper
I'm sorry, I'm sorry while our brother was beat I did nothing,
I'm sorry I froze like a coward,
I'm sorry I didn't save him"

I love the repetition of "I'm sorry" In every line, you're not just saying I'm sorry for all this but you're stating exactly why you're sorry and you say I'm sorry again.

"You're in a state of grief
I'm in a state of immense shame"

Intense contrast with these two emotions. This gives the poem more flavor and gives it a spark that is original.

"Filled to the rim
But I hide them inside
Because I don't deserve it
I don't deserve to miss him
NOT when I HAD the chance to save him"

I love this ending, your openly admitting to the facts, which is very honest. And I love the fact that your poem shows so much honesty. It was a great write and I really enjoyed reading this. Good work! You should check out some of my poems sometime. ;)

Extreme contrast

Loves, blaming yourself will help NO ONE. not one person can be saved by another single person. you aren't the one that beat him to death, girl. you know that, deep deep down, underneath all the hurt and pain.

I hold my sister through the night,
As she cries herself to sleep,

^^ this brought tears to my eyes...i felt my heart break reading it.

like i said, it's NOT your fault, hun. it's just not...*hugs*