Fallen (Raven)

by Mello193   May 8, 2008


We don't trust them at all
Those born in lies begin to fall
A fallen angel loses her wings
Becomes a devil of terrible things

A raven's wings ripped from limb
questions remarked in holy Hymns
Lose yours soul and fall into me
Take this dead bird and set it free

Free from a cage so full of distrust
fearing heaven in disgust
a smile like a raven's with envy
cant be anything other than what it can be

Limbless bird feel my wrath
Feel the flood of sin's bloodbath
Gluttony among the dead
Feeding on my life and all my pride
death has stolen my blood stained bride

Fallen angel Beauty loses her white
All her screams, a struggled fight
Rape her until she dies
Lord, Heal her wounds until she cries

fallen angel Beauty,
bleeds the crimson black
in her soul under attack
Self esteem all lost in the void
her will alone destroyed

Pestilence all caught in her veins
The war she raged will begin its drain
Famine breaks her will to live
Death, she knows now perverted adjective

All she feels is sexual death
Screams of unwanted pleasure without breath
The white comes off as her clothes did too
She never forgives herself for the blood he drew

Her emotionless face feels for surrender
Will she ever let my love finally mend her?
She wants to fly away from fear
her hopes dead now in a single tear

A reason to live In a lifeless hell
Red-black soul she didn't want to sell
For such a low price she deserves much more
Years far past but the blood stained her floor

A single fallen angel, the devil I love
I'll find those dirty wings and send her above
To watch over me and everyone else
Forget, forgive and never return to her hell

Revenge takes her place while she starts to survive
Turn the beauty of death and bleed her alive
Heal the angel and she'll heal you too
She'll finally find god and know what to do

Stricken by muse to remember her face
With her gentle smile she saves our race
Sleeping beauty the fallen angel I love
The darkest raven to a beautiful dove

She raises the dead

2


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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    Wow. First of all, this was a beautifully written. Absolutely beautiful.

    I do not dislike much about the poem, just a few minor things that should be fixed..

    "A reason to live In a lifeless hell
    Red black soul she didn't want to sell
    For such a low price she deserves much more
    Years far past but the blood stained her floor"

    ^^ "In" doesn't need to be capitalized. Though, that doesn't take away from the fact that I think it's wondeful.

    "Revenge takes her place while she starts to survive
    Turn the beauty of death and bleed her alive
    Heal the angel and she'll heal you too
    Shelll finally find god and know what to do"

    ^^ "Shelll" --> I get the feeling this should be "She'll".

    There are a few other thigns I could point out, but it's just comma placements and things of that nature.

    "Limbless bird feel my wrath
    Feel the flood of a bloodbath
    Gluttony among the dead
    Feeding on my life and all my pride
    Greed take all from fallen angel for a stride"

    ^^ I LOVE LOVE LOVE this stanza! The fast that there is 5 lines, rather than just four, makes it stand out, and it grabs attention.

    Overall, I enjoyed this poem. It's worded perfectly and has the kind of effect on me that made it so hard to stop reading, that there is no way I could, even if it went on forever. Great job.

    5/5

    -Briana

  • 16 years ago

    by NicoleBaby101

    Wow i wasn't expecting that......... it was a really great peom........ all i can say i

    i give it a 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "Fallen angel beautiful loses her white
    All her screams to cause a fight"
    -Fallen angel beautiful? what? Are you missing a word or something? =(

    This poem is very good overall. It has some very great rhyming and I loooove your word choice. Very unique =) Great work! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Alexis

    Beautiful.
    ...
    thats all I can say..

    5/5

    Amazing job, hun

    Peace :]

  • 16 years ago

    by SoUrNameIsTia

    Wow, ur an amazing writer. i totally got lost in it. 5/5

    ~tia

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