Welll frist critic , words can not uinderstand , some chinese characters or somthing i could now read it , sorry man , fix it and PM me so i can read it ,

I really do like this. On the first one part there was a bunch of weird letters but i understood it later! Really good and i bet the song is amazing i have been trying to right a song for a while and i havent been able to do. Great work!

Really got me thinking, some wonderful imagery and raw emotion in there. The ony bad thing is all the weird characters in the first chorus. But overall it was really sweet

I like the words to this, however this is a site for poems so i think you dont have to put (chorus) before every refrain, it reads fine as just a poem with a repeated stanza