Were together but apart

by Kaila   May 9, 2008


Eyes lock concealing a secret
that no one shall know or else.
We dance inside our heads
daydreaming about us together.

Slyly smiling making no suspicions
our hands tingle while the other in mind.
Encircling thoughts bring quakes
longing for our skins to burn as one.

Awaiting moments in the dark.
Nobody can see for we are hidden
buried in each others shadows,
beneath me you linger softly.

Against my body your presence stands.
Your hand touching my skin I feel it surge,
you are not there with me but you are.
Images appear un-erasable, mind haunting.

Praying this little secret is safe with us.
Holding it dear to my pouring heart
as we lye alone but we are together,
we close our eyes and whisper, "I love you."

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by MEMI

    Aww thats cute

  • 16 years ago

    by Spoken Silence

    This is such a sweet poem. I can really relate to this in so many ways. And the flow of your words was amazing. You did a great job with this one.

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Waw its beautiful and full of feeling,
    you got talent and creative imagination,
    i see you paint it with colors,
    flow was realy good ,
    it deserve more than 5/5
    well done
    noha

  • 16 years ago

    by eehcuhhhz

    The story?
    Quite adorable.

    First off.
    What drawn me to this poem was the title.
    Well, dear, it's kind of wrong punctuation.

    "We're together but apart"

    Should be your title.
    Have the apostrophe in there :]

    Eyes lock concealing a secret

    Can't that be...
    Their eyes lock, concealing a secret.
    And what kept me focused on that part,
    Was that there was no comma.

    that no one shall know or else.

    Or else what?
    It sounds, well, like someone's going to kill them.
    To me, it's sounds overdramatic AND cliched.

    Like an action movie, "Or else"

    Your hand touching my skin(,) I feel it surge,

    Forgot 'nother comma.

    I read it again, more slowly.
    Either they're both thinkin' of one 'nother before they go to sleep;
    Or, they're just talkin' to theirselves

    Like I said, it's adorable.
    But maybe, you could work on your grammatica :]

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