Comments : The Prophecy

  • 16 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    Omg, this is an absolutely beautiful and touching piece of poetry 5/5 it was penned very well and flowed together brilliantly. hope to see more of your work,

    Keep Writing, hun
    As Always,
    ~NinjaGirl~

  • 16 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    Also, my favourite lines would have to be

    "I dream of you, of a death and a life,
    Of me following your shallow footprints
    Dragged along the beach and into the waters of my eternal tomb,"

    to me, these lines stood out the most in the poem, with the mere description and the depth in the way you penned these lines

    Keep Writing, hun
    As Always,
    ~NinjaGirl~

  • 16 years ago

    by eehcuhhhz

    Was it true, that unbearable agony of a half truth
    Whispered in a dreaming?

    No need for comma there, dear. :]

    Is my future layed out far and for all to see?

    What do you mean "far"? Like... far away.
    As in it's unattainable?

    Have I any control or is casualty my only master?

    Comma after control.

    A delicate flame dancing across the nexus of life,

    You shouldn't use life again.
    It's repetative.

    There were a lot of questions at the beginning.
    That's good, I guess, that gets the readers minds rolling.
    But too much can just get overwhelming.