Out of the Blue

I'm sitting on her bed with a song in my head
It's hurting me to think she's not just asleep
I listen to my mom read her her favorite stories
My eyes are trembling as I hold in these screams

So I was told to just go to school with a smile
Make every last moment with her worthwhile
I would do anything for her to wake up and show me those blue eyes
Instead of a household of serious talks and cries

Her birthday comes around and we pray she holds on for one more day
I write her a letter that she'll never read but it's something I have to say
I'm sorry that once a year was too little to see her laugh
Now every small christmas story has collapsed in my lap

The next day I was shaking while trying to pay attention
But when my mom showed up, I felt the tension
It didn't take a genius to know it had all gone down
And it hurt to arrive in a house with five hundred hearts on the ground

I sat down with my aunt as we talked about her last breath
Then she asked if I had any idea about death
I told her I knew more than I should
She handed me a clock with God's prayer and said she wants you to have it
I know she would

So here I am on her bed singing this one song that's been in my head
Even though the bed's empty I see her in my head
And times like these I wished I had faced the truth
And not be hit with this loss out of the blue