Swallow Your Tongue

Beautiful imagery was used throughout this piece making it an interesting piece to read. The words you used to paint your scenes were flawless and the emotion you expressed just blew me away. I loved how you used the title in the ending because it tied everything together nicely. Well done *5/5*

This poem I feel maybe was a little to 'open' meaning it was hard to actually understand the basic story. Although I liked what I thought it meant.

My views were that a man and woman are out and he wants to continue to beat her but cant in the presence of the people she is with therefore 'Swallowing his tongue' = 'Holding it in for now'. If I am write then this is a great read and really well thought out.

Alex xx

Frankly speaking i would like to give you 4.5
but there were a few doubts which still maneuver on my mind. whether this poem has multiple subjects addressed.

WOW I REALLY LIKE THIS POEM IT HAS MEANING TO IT I CAN RELATE I REALLY CAN IT WAS NICE YOU DID GOOD=]

My laughter threatens to be heard
`Clever line. The use of "threatens" really makes it powerful -- and maybe for some people, a laughter could even be imagined while reading this.

Seeing controlled anger in your smile.
It is damned the cutest thing
With the moods of yours versatile.
`The last line, I like the use of different vocabulary than what people typically choose, but it sounds kind of funky read out loud. It makes it seem like you're rearranging your words oddly just so it'll rhyme, and it just doesn't seem right. But still, that's a nice stanza. Contrast of anger, and cutest -- it's mocking in my eyes, which brings much delight to the piece.

Though the lips of yours beckons.
`That line, it sounds funny to me. I always think "those lips of yours" in that type of context, but then that sounds a tad bit too long if I stick it in there...So I don't know about that.

If there was a moment to ever fall,
That lovely instant would be today.
There is no better way to see the future,
Than having this frustration on display.
`Oh, definitely a stanza meant to be adored. The diction here -- the choice of words is simple -- but they're put together in a brilliant way that brings out a dark sort of air, but then there's the word "lovely" used. Another sort of mocking tone in this piece. Dazzling.

As for now, I will watch you quiver,
Keeping mind of the show so young.
I'll struggle to keep my expression blank
As you attempt to swallow your tongue.
`HA, the tenor here makes me laugh. It's so sarcastic-like; it's amusing, and it really showcases the loathing-sort-of-feeling in this piece well. The second half of that stanza just wraps everything up so nicely, and in a charmingly sadistic sort of way.

Very nicely one. The flow didn't falter -- I don't think anyhow -- though, the third stanza seemed weak compared to the rest of the piece. Like the words were simple, and the meaning was just ... there. It didn't jump out -- or hold anything to my attention, really.

But, overall, it was a nice write. Unique, and definitely different from some pieces I've read that try to portray the same emotion as this piece has successfully obtained.

..__MiNDYY