Thats really good well done xx

Interesting piece.

This is not my favorite piece from you but I still liked it. The repetitive words threw me off on some places but there were places when they created superb flow. I don't think that you should change anything, some parts of the poem just didn't suited me. (I don't want to offend you, this is my personal opinion only).

First Stanza- Rhymes were good and they created interesting flow. Whole beginning stanza wasn't as powerful as I think that an introduction to a piece should be. The last line threw me off a bit because you repeated "of you" at the end of it so it ruined the flow for me. The line "my tears are made of you" is brilliant, my favorite from that stanza.

Second Stanza: I quite liked it except the last line which ruined the rhythm and flow. You should maybe put comma in the at the end of the fifth line, I think that it flows better with a pause there.

Third Stanza: Amazing and flawless. I loved every line of it.

Forth Stanza:I don't like the repetition of "Children well" but the rest of the stanza is o.k.

Fifth Stanza: Repetitions here were breathtaking, along with the atmosphere and choice of words. This is my favorite stanza. Fantastic ending, powerful and very creative.