I still Love him (Daddy)

To many young girls Their Dads are their Hero.
As for me... Mines nothing but a man whos my dad.
I get to see him maybe once every 2-3 years.
When I do...My hearts Full of joy but mixed with pain.

Home again with Mommys another story.
I get a phone call once a weekend. Just a check in.
When I talk to him. . .he's always drunk. . .
So pains what I normally get out of it.

Yet I still Love the old man. Still to this day.
Even though he Drinks, and smokes everyday all day.
I know he loves me, even tho he has a weird way of showing it. There is Love there...There has to be..

The Question I keep asking myself is this:
How can I love someone so much who hurts my heart?
I asked him once when I was younger if he'd quit...
quit his smoking & drinking. If not for him, then for me.

He said No. He has nothing to live for....
So why should he stop. He said that to me..it hurt.
I still Love him though. Always will.
Now That I'm older I understand alot more.

Now My mommy gets a phone call from my step mom.
Telling my Mommy that My dad is dying. . .
Knowing him he's to stubbern to go to the doctors.
And he wont come down to viset me..But I still love him

***My dad has broken my heart many times over the years..But he's still My father. I love him no matter what he's done. Yea, he's never really been there for me and drinks alot..But I know he has a big heart...Now that he's dying.. I think that maybe my father is my hero..I dont know how...But who ever said Heros had to be perfect??***