Wow O.O you show a lot of meaning in this poem, and I can really understand what you're writing about ^^

The only to improve on is your flow. Maybe try to keep the lines similar lengths to make it more aesthetically pleasing and add a distinct flow to you words. It'll really help in the long run ^^
4/5

UzumakiPride
Hatori

I actully liek this one it might be short but very moving, youve inpressed me very good
5/5