All i have is your old letters

Tears are rolling down my eyes
thinking how i used to look up to you
used to think you were wise
used to think you were tough
and could survive through anything
but now you're gone at your own hand
although some would say your story is touching
to me it's heartbreaking, a tragedy
full of loss, sadness, hopefulness in the wrong place
your death is taking over, maddening
why you couldn't hold on i understand
but suicide was not the answer
you should have left by another man's hand
even with everyone gone i was still here
and i still am in the dust
full of so much more fear
than i ever thought i could have
or ever thought i would have
but you are still gone
and all i have is your old letters
what you did was wrong
but know i am a little better