Daddy I'm Sorry

Daddy I'm sorry for what I have done,
I can't think of a reason to forgive me,
Not even one.
I never wanted you and mama to feel that way,
To feel so disappointed and so ashamed,

The true fact of it is there is no one I could have blamed.
I never meant for it to happen,
For you to shed that blood.
I never meant to hit you,
The tears shed consume me like a flood.
The mistakes I made can never be forgotten.
You'll always have that doubt.
When I struck you that first time I could hear mom shout.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Will you ever understand?
When I fell down there was no one there to give me a hand.

Being locked up opened my eyes,
To what I was doing,
And I took time and thought and apologized.
I cried and cried night after night,
Having deep emotion of sadness and fright.
Seeing the darkness and nothing more,
Seeing visions of demons and gore.
They won't go away for the anxiety and stress,
Of hurting you, the ones I love, it's nothing but a mess.

I can't think of why you would forgive such a monstrous thing,
Because of all the hurt and fear that night I did bring.
What makes me what I am today?
Not you good people,
Just me, the monster is all I have to say.