Comments : Blink of an eye

  • 16 years ago

    by Lindsay

    Just a hint: It's not very good to use the same word to end to sentances in the same stanza, especially a rhyming one, because it's almost like cheating in a way that people don't really appreciate. ( Refurring to the double 'we' in stanza one)
    Also the rhyme scheme is inconsistant and sometimes not there.
    Aside from those minor critisisms, I thought this poem was really, adorably cute and totally true. Although I have never experienced that feeling, I have had a similar one and you described it exactly the way a creative mind would feel in that moment
    Bravo! another 4/5 from me.